Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A Rather Surreal Ramble On The State Of My Appetite On This The Last Day Of The Year


Well I wrote a long and heartfelt post about food last night then promptly deleted it.

And search as I might, I'll be damned if I can find it.

But having just fed myself a delicious New Years Eve dinner of smoked salmon and capers with  toast and a crisp salad full of pomegranate seeds and avocado with peels of parmesam I felt the need to revisit last nights thoughts.

I have a complicated relationship with food.

I love to eat, I love to cook for others and I adore being cooked for.

But when it's just me for me, things get a little looser. A little lighter. Maybe an egg, with some cheese, in a tortilla, with a few slices of avocado.

After GG left food lost its appeal.

By the time Superman moved in I was heading toward invisible.

But surrounded by his love of cooking, eating and feeding me something began to stir in my heart: a feeling of guilt.

I had to reciprocate, so I started with a frittata. It wasn't great but it was a beginning.

By the time he left last December I was nonchalantly whipping up an asado negro for football Sunday.

When he moved out my interest in cooking drifted away.

I'm sure if you asked Elle or the little doctor what I had for dinner they would shrug their shoulders but maybe mention whatever it was, I wrapped it in a tortilla.

Don't get me wrong, take me out for Thai, meet me for sushi or call me up for fish and chips at the pub down the street and I'll match you bite for bite.

It was home cooking for one that had me stymied.

But over these last few months, I got my mojo back.

I don't know where it went or why it returned but I'm happy to report I'm treating myself like a favored guest.

Christmas Eve I declined all invitations and cooked myself a little rare filet, tossed a salad and grilled some bread spread with olive oil and garlic.

I sliced half the filet, sprinkled it with Maldon salt and devoured it. Then I did the same with the other half. And it was good.

I have cooked beans, soups and chili in the freezer.

I have a pantry full of grains and vegetable drawers full of well,vegetables.

And most importantly I have an appetite.

So my New Years resolution is to keep cooking, for one. And to keep blogging for sanity.

Oh and to travel more.

Gus resolves to get me up earlier and travel around the neighborhood more.

 You?






27 comments:

  1. Hey...Happy New Year!!! I'm glad to hear you're still going to tell us wonderful tales of Jane. Don't ever think about not blogging. :)

    When I was alone for the year waiting for our house to sell, I ate like a bird but managed to gain too many pounds. How does that work?!

    anyways, I hope you have a happy new year with wonderful adventures. ♥

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    1. I don't know how that works but it seems very unfair. Come and spend a month with me, I'll slim you down. xoo

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  2. Sounds like a pretty healthy way to go, so hope you can continue. It's difficult to cook for one, but if you are enjoying it (and putting stuff in the freezer) then it can be fun, too.

    Wishing you only the best for 2015. hugs all around. Happy New Year!

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    1. Thanks webb, easier to cook in the winter, no? Here's to many meals ahead. xo

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  3. I hear you about the cooking/eating thing.
    Cooking/eating good food is such an expression of happiness-hope you'll be cooking heaps in 2015!

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    1. Well said, just put my black eyed peas on. Here's to luck and happiness in 2015.

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  4. It is a good thing that you didn;t come - he got sick on Saturday. So far I am fine. Let's find a time in the spring for sure. xoxo

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    1. Poor guy. Spring it is. Happy New Year.

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  5. No NY resolutions. Don'y make 'em,can't break 'em! But I do try to be good to myself.Especially when it comes to healthy and tasty food.Um...kinda fell off the wagon this week.Peter's gone home for a week and it's so hot I don't even feel like eating salad.It's been apple and cheese, maybe a spoonful of pasta sauce on garlic ciabatta, lots of cold water, some cold wine. What can I say - it's high summer in the tropics.Pass the ice, please.Happy 2015, Jane. xx

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    1. Oh I know summer doesn't even count. Who cooks then, well except Marie?

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  6. It is much the same here, when cooking for one. Tortillas with something inside or spinach with/, or yogurt with/ . And there are always eggs although with all the chickens dying in Mexivo and the new laws in CA, I'm starting to reconsider eggs.

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    1. OMG, we all eat the same. I love this. I get my eggs from one of our local suppliers, he brings branches, flowers when possible but always eggs.

      Is there no one local for you in your lovely village?

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  7. Happy New Year Jane! You know I love to cook but if it was just for me, always an egg!

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    1. Not feeling like such a freak now. I love feedback! Happy New Year Amiga. Why not get on Instagram for 2015?

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  8. When I lived alone, I feared I would eat buttered toast far too often, so I made myself cook properly. But it's much nicer to cook for someone else too!

    I'm just being introduced to real Mexican food (by future daughter-in-law!!) and am told that I will shortly be the proud owner of my very own tortilla press and the right kind of flour to use with it. From what I've experienced so far of this wonderful rich cuisine, I may become very very fat.....

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    1. How delicious. I love Mexican food especially authentic Mexican food.

      Blog everything!

      Xo

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  9. this is so fascinating to me jane. this year i've been in a huge cooking slump. nothing has inspired me or made me want to rush into the kitchen. i was feeling kind of bad about it but kinda realized there is a season for everything and i guess that includes the kitchen. when the desire to create comes back i'll be ready. happy new year darl. xo

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    1. I guess I can assure you it will come back, who knows when, who knows why.

      No wonder we see pics of Larry cooking. He's hungry-:))

      Happy New Year beautiful.


      Xo

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  10. No changes for the new year. But so happy to hear you are feeding yourself well again.

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    1. Happy New Year changes or not. Though truthfully today does seem just like another day to me.

      Except I was off, which makes it a rocking Thursday.

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  11. I think you're too hard on yourself, even if it was indeed often wrapped in a tortilla you always took time to whip up a homemade vinaigrette or marinade.
    And I wont ever forget the barbecued lamb on Easter and the shrimp boil, oh the shrimp boil!! ;)

    Happy new year Jane!! 😃❤️

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  12. Oh, you baddie, getting me to drool about food just when I need to stop eating quite so much! You New Year's Eve meal sounds delicious. Hurrah for your resolutions, I'm wishing you lovely times ahead.

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  13. I am glad to hear you are looking after yourself again. I fear I have the same tendency to neglect my own well being when alone but to go to no end of trouble to feed everyone else.

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  14. ...and I like the photo. You nailed it. Light, composition, focus, the woiks. Very nice.

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  15. Inspiring! Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm moving slowly with a headache and needed a kick in the butt.

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