Saturday, December 3, 2011

It's The Hap Happiest Season Of All

May I interrupt your regularly scheduled Christmas to offer you a few stories of life in ye olde flower shop?

Where to start, where to start.....the house we were decorating in DC where the owner asked my coworker if she would place and climb the ladder at the back of the tree.  This way is she fell, she wouldn't break any of the favorite ornaments that had been hung on the front.  Swear to God.

And the law firm we spent a lifetime in last Friday?

Tomorrow we're sending a crew back to take down two decorated trees ( one of them being the replacement tree we just put up last Saturday) and 4 ga-huge wreaths. 

They are rethinking their take on holiday decorating and are removing any symbolic gestures that might scream "It's Christmas" to those who don't celebrate this occasion.  Fair enough I guess, wish they'd rethought it last week though, preferably before we got there.

Next year we'll be bringing in a winter solstice look.  I guess this year they'll be celebrating Festivus.  With the rest of us.

I couldn't make any of this up.  I'm too tired.  And it's only December 2nd.

And to add insult to injury I couldn't get any good pictures in the art deco house we didn't break any ornament or limbs in. 

Just one shot of the loo,but trust me it was all this and more.  Much, much more.

And no worries, we do laugh our way through all of these adventures.  We live to tell the tales, over and over, year after year.

 Every holiday Betty says "Jane, tell the story about the driver who stole the van or the driver who stole the jeep, or the driver who told us he lost all his cash and couldn't buy toys for his children and you gave him all your money".

And I do.  Now I'm telling all of you too.

Anybody wanna buy a flower shop?


  1. My heavens!
    You'd really think the law firm would have made up their minds about their non-Christmas decor, before you decorated.
    Hang in there! :-)

  2. Well, think of it like this, dear Jane: it's an industry in which you can be the Voice of Sanity, and one with ample opportunities for petty theft - I trust that figurine in the loo is now yours?

  3. Well at least at the end of it all (this career in flowers) you can write your memoirs and make millions and have somebody gorgeous play your character in the movie!! Robx

  4. I'm surprised it wasn't the law firm that asked the ladder to be placed at the back of the tree so if anyone fell, there would be no witnesses.

  5. You're tougher than I am! I get the corporate pain in the ass, but I've resigned this year from decorating trees in homes with children. Still, we're up on ladders, down on our knees and freezing our fingers outside. I make a bee line for the Sharper Image Swedish massage chair cushion in the kitchen when I get home. Fueling with coffee now for the giant Della Robbia wreath hanging today.
    Can't wait for your book. I'll be first in line for an autograph!

  6. A. Shop swap?
    B. Sign me up for the book. Please.

  7. I hope you are charging those idiot lawyers double! I get the not-too-much-Christmas-in-the-workplace part, but not the calling you back part.

    Have no good advice to offer - well, wine, of course, and extra Starbucks! Only three more weeks. xoxo

  8. And, the callas are gorgeous!

  9. Seriously, who hasn't thought that human life is worth far less than their Christmas bobbles? What ..the..what..?!!!! Shocking even for this old broad. I would take Mise' advice..petty theft.

    Sheesh....xo xo

  10. Sara Louise, I know, right? A whole lotta dough for a whole lotta nothing!

    Mise, hmmm, I need to take you with us on these see the big picture.

    Rob, If there's even the possibility of 1000's I'm outta there poised over keyboard!

    Steve, Bet they wish they'd thought of it first. There's always next year for winter solstice.

    Shelley, Wondering how today's hanging went and hoping we get to see a photo of the finished wreath. They're heavy but beautiful.

    Sprout, that would be fun, but your clients are sooo spoiled by your care I think they'd run me out of town!

    Webb, I'm guessing the message came down from waaaay up and the complaint was from a BIG client.

    My favorite callas, mango. Yum.

    Dumbwit Teller, I know, it's amazing. my coworker said I bet you can't wait to go home and start writing.....oh baby too bad it's necessary to edit tastefully:)

  11. Do I see a book in your future? Memoirs of a small but charming flower designer... Or maybe Small but charming memoir of a flower designer. Sounds like you're gather plenty of material.

  12. I just deleted my tirade about offending non Christians with Christmas as this is not the place to do it, but, if I had the wherewithal
    to do a huge over the top Christmas display in public I would employ you to do it and blow the decorations you might break in setting it up!!!!!!
    Sorry Jane not normally this antagonistic!
    Changing subjects one pink chair blog
    hit the air today! I expect to see you soon!!!
    All my love Julienne

  13. great stories and i'm so in with festivus.

  14. Sounds like fun, and I thought your job was sooooo glamorous! Sue the lawyers.

  15. Hello Jane, thank God you can laugh about it! Better decorate your own house early, incase you are too knackered! Lots of love, Linda x

  16. I hope these lawyers are paying you for all of their mind changes. Sheesh.