November 30, a warm and sunny Sunday, time for my fall yard clean.
I'm raking, I'm lopping, I'm trimming, I'm taking care of business.
Suddenly I see my new next door neighbor driving up with a Christmas tree strapped to her roof, the next thing I know she's stringing lights around it, she's decorating, her tree is up! boom!
Wait! It's not even December yet!
December 1st, I buy a tree.
December 2nd, I text the ex, GG, and ask if she would like to put the lights on my tree. I'll cook. She agrees, game on December 7th, 1:00PM.
December 3rd, I notice both Carlos and Vicky have lit up the outside of their houses.
I still have the airconditioners in my window. I text Carlos and ask if he will take them out, I'll cook. We're on, December 4th.
I text my friend Ann and ask if she will hang my garland and lights the following Monday, I'll cook. She agrees.
December 4th, I cut dime size chunk of flesh out of left hand palm. Ouch. Bandage up. It's December.
I've got black beans cooked, a pork roast with a dry rub waiting in refrigerator and 15 centerpieces to do for a party.
Home, throw roast in oven, make rice, chimichurri sauce and salad. Don't go to any trouble for me says Carlos as he staggers up my pull down attic stairs with 3 airconditioners.
Can there be too much trouble? I think not.
December 5th, work like a elf on meth.
December 6th, ditto.
December 7th, GG arrives, knows the drill: take 6ft. frasier fir down to 4ft, attempt to secure in old bucket I've unearthed, try to make cat proof. We decide to make outdoor chandelier out of butt end of tree. Can't be enough work.
Serve Cuban sandwiches and rice and beans.
December 8th, Ann arrives having spent the last 4 hours decorating a clients house, for money.
I give her potato chips, a Cuban and a fruit tart to take home. Who needs money?
She hangs and lights garland and chandelier.
Boom! 8 days and 4 people later, I too am ready for the holidays. And the pork is finito.
December 9th, to be determined.
( Moral of the story: those who can, light. Those who can't cook.)