Oh God, I'm sitting here texting with Shelley about the perils and pains of dating.
What a good friend she is.
This dating thing is a drag. I had the longest 30 minutes of my life last Sunday with someone I couldn't connect with on any damn topic.
And I'm not hard to talk to.
I've accepted another coffee date after work tomorrow, and me on a Saturday, after 9 hours of work is not a pretty sight.
But she's been so persistent, I agreed.
What I would really like to do is to hunker down and talk about how crazy internet dating really is.
Laugh about bad dates, talk about lost mates and how to heal a broken heart.
But I don't think that is the brief.
I suspect I'm not 100% ready for another relationship. I seem to have one foot in the past and one foot in the future. This leaves me balancing precariously in the present.
As the days get shorter and the holidays loom, my sense of self is veering toward sad.
I have often heard how emotions are magnified during the season of merriment. Now I'm feeling them.
I have cooked and eaten Thanksgiving dinner with family, GG's family, but they felt like mine too, for the past 8 years.
But not this year. And that is hard. Yes, Mr.Baby and parents would have come if I was cooking, but I'm not into cooking this year, at least not in my house.
Of course I'm invited to dinner with friends, I'm not alone here. But I seem to be having a hard time whipping up the proper enthusiasm.
I allowed myself to wallow in the feelings for a while, then this morning I signed up as a volunteer to help prepare and /or serve dinner on Thanksgiving to those who need more than a good date.
I'm hoping that being of service to others will help me experience some gratitude.
And isn't that what the holiday is all about? Well, besides the turkey and the pies and the cats...
Thank you for listening. And don't say I didn't warn you!