I misread my contract I signed up for 8 training sessions, not 6. Are you sobbing or laughing?
And with my second one down, I have come to understand the subtleties of Stockholm syndrome.
There I am, trapped for an hour, with Andrew. And even though my muscles are screaming ""I can't hold this pose for one more second", I do.
Because I want Andrew to like me.
Picture me with my back against a wall, knees bent at a 45degree angle, arms stretched straight out in front holding a 10 pound weight. Now picture me holding this post for 45 seconds, calves and quads starting to tremble at 30, turn into jelly by 40 and then just holding on for the final 5,4,3,2,1. At one I collapse into a small pile on the floor, then scramble up to go on to the next set of something hellish. We repeat this exercise 3 times.
When I finish a set of calve raise and my right calf is cramping unbearably do I say no when he suggest "just one more"? Of course not, I take a second to stretch out the muscle and do that extra lift. Andrew is my friend.
Then when the hour is up and I am red faced and drenched in sweat, do I lay on the floor in a bundle of pain as my body suggests?
Of course not, I shake his hand, say great workout, then set up a time for the next circle of hell.
Immediately after I rush out and buy some Ben Gay, soak in a hot bath with salts and sleep like a baby.
Because for all this complaining, I must admit to being in a wonderful mood today, mind and body overflowing with energy and endorphins.
Just call me Tania.
Ahahahahaha! Stockholm Syndrome. I think it's also toning your sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteI bet there are times when your garden is like Andrew, and it persuades you to weed one more section or dig and plant just a little bit more even while your body is begging you to quit before you're too tired and sore to put your tools away. I know mine is! And the bath after makes it all OK, doesn't it?
ReplyDeletei'm laughing out loud right now.
ReplyDeletehave i mentioned how much i love that wallpaper lately?
xo
It is the endorphins. Extreme exercising and giving up smoking....you are brave.
ReplyDeleteSteve, must be the blood coursing through my brain!
ReplyDeleteSharon, You are both wise and poetic. Exactly right!
Janet, I can hear you.....funny i was thinking about the red lantern you got for that space:)
Bonnie, Endorphins, gotta love 'em.
That hour with Andrew sounded like more than 60 minutes. We are proud of you for getting it, what's the slogan? "yes we can"
ReplyDeleteHelenxx
Laughing out loud - for real. I am happy to learn about your work-out adventures, as I just signed up for a gym membership. I think I have a few sessions lined up of my own. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI find Ben Gay to be a comforting smell (reminds me of my dear grandpa) so if I saw you, I'd give you a big ol' hug! :-)
ReplyDelete(and please don't think I'm implying that you remind me of an 80 year old man, it's just that lovely smell)
You're feeling good? Shall I still send the T shirt?
ReplyDeleteplease write a book :)
ReplyDeleteOh dear lord, my side is aching. So funny!
ReplyDeleteI wonder would it work to give Andrew a gold watch so that he will like you, and then spend the hour having a quiet sit-down with a hot chocolate looking at the suffering of the other gym people who didn't give him a gold watch?
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing so hard ... you poor thing ... I totally get it.
ReplyDeleteOMG Jane we will be calling you GI Jane by week 8. Respect sista!! ;)
ReplyDeleteEndorphins already? I think you're becoming my health Guru. Maybe I'll finally get to the pool.
ReplyDeleteEndorphins part sounds enticing....a very brisk walk this evening, might even try and break into a little run!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, not convinced you need the pain.
ReplyDeleteLonger, brisker walks with the dog would give you the same endorphin effect, and you probably wouldn't want to lie sobbing on the ground at any stage. And the dog would lose weight too, so you'd get twice the glory!
I will be outside your house a 9:00 tonight to kidnap you and carry you away from your tormentor - this is definitely client abuse and I cannot let you stay in this dangerous situation any longer. I will call the Marshall service and get you into the Gymrat Protection Program. This is dire and must be stopped.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's what I would like to do. Instead I will think healing thoughts and suggest you get a good bean or rice-filled heating bag - preferably one with lavender, too.
Are you going to the MLK dedication on Sunday?
Webb, you're hilarious!
ReplyDeleteOh my, I hope you are feeling better now. I do admire your can-do attitude. Just don't be too hard on yourself. And remember, flowers weigh a lot. I'm sure a vase of flowers is the equivalent of a 10-pound dumb bell. Andrew might not know that.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds absolutely excrutiating, and Andrew like all gym instructors is clearly a sadist but you go girl! I'm taking the dog for a longer walk.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl...!!!This so made me laugh too "I want Andrew to like me!" - KNOW I'd be the same (and I would not want to be beaten by some silly exercise getting the better of me!) We are all behind you Jane! XXX
ReplyDeleteOh you are a hoot! You should have gone to specsavers..xx
ReplyDelete