Well I guess the price you pay for living social is you have no time for blogging.
But tonight is mine own and here I am, sitting at the computer, hoping I'm not going to write about what is on my mind.
But if I don't I might as well go take a bath.
So, if you're male or under what, 50, 55 years of age, you might as well walk on by.
( I don't know why I put those ages down. I went into menopause at 47) All women, of any age, keep reading.
Let's talk about sex baby.
And the aging process.
Shudder.
I've been a proponent of Prempro for some years now. It helps me sleep, takes away the crazies and the hot flashes.
Last year my gyno suggested I start taking it every other night. Fair enough.
Two weeks ago my doctor suggested every third night. This is when the wacky made a return appearance. Waking up to find I had stripped off my tshirt in the middle of the night.Rushing to the pharmacy to buy acne cream because suddenly my face is breaking out. Piling on sweaters at work because I have chills. Extreme exhaustion forcing me to lay down and try not to nap at odd hours of the day. 6:00PM nap? I don't think so. But I want one.
And sex? Been there, tried that. Ow.Ow. Ow.
Really? Men have Viagra and we have what, HRT, but not forever?
I have checked in with my girlfriends of certain ages, most happily married, happily having affairs, or both and they're like yeah, hurts. Get a prescription. One that probably your insurance won't cover or not too much of.
And my BFF wants to know why everyone says sex is so much better post menopausal.
So tell me, is there something we're missing?
Or are you thinking, wow, she's lost it now. Better go back to every other night.
I don't know if there is a whole world of blogging where this is discussed. If so, send me over.
If not, why not?
Anonymity could be your friend here, if you want to be heard but not seen.....just saying.
I'll be the first to ask....what prescription can help with all that?
ReplyDeleteWell my friend with the husband and the lover swears by Estrace. Maybe has different name in Canada. My doctor also suggested non prescription like Replens or Lubrin. Thanks for breaking the sound barrier. I though this might be a conversation I was only having with myself.
DeleteJust looked it up. It can cause Uterine cancer and increase changes of stroke and heart attack. I'll pass on that.
DeleteTherein lies the problem and why they want me weaned off my HRT, I'm just trying to see if it can be done and still retain a good quality of life.
DeleteEven the replens?
oh....by the way...coconut oil.
ReplyDeleteExcellent! Got that.
DeleteIt also prevents yeast so it's a double whammy.
DeleteThe question lingers, is the coconut oil taken orally? Is this a stupid question?
DeleteThere are no stupid questions. Use it as a lubricant as you would KY. Manufactured lubricants are full of chemicals and can further parch your delicates. Make sure you buy cold pressed and organic. I use it on my face and hair too. All in one. My sister must have snooped in my house because she asked why I had coconut oil beside my bed.
DeleteA very. Brave post. You can ask for cream, suppositories, or an estrogen ring that's good for a quarter. So far, my insurance doesnot pay for any. Even my OB complains about the discrimination. Can't tell if they help much s my partner isn't able any more, but self help is still an option.
ReplyDeleteTo the bigger issue - we all deserve to have as good a sex life as we can for as long as we can. Let's get this conversation going.
Thank you webb, both for the information and for your candor.
DeleteWe do deserve a good sex life, and I'm already feeling more hopeful reading everyone's suggestions.
Estrace twice a week. So far, doc isn't threatening to take me off and it's been years.
ReplyDeleteAnd the newest greatest thing I have discovered-Ben wah balls. Not for great sex but for that pesky urine incontinence. Totally tightens those muscles. I'm sure it will help with great sex too-but right now I'm loving the extra Kegel control. And yes, I could do Kegel exercises, but these MAKE you do the exercises and you KNOW if they are working.
Good topic.
I had never even given Ben wah balls a thought. What a great suggestion. Thank you. I need to go see my OB. Soon.
DeleteO! And as a horse owner, no Premarin. They use the hormones from pregnant mares that are kept in tiny boxes and treated horribly.
ReplyDeleteReally? Don't like to hear that, says the woman who hasn't eaten veal in over 30 years.
DeleteJane I have nothing to add except that you are the best you really are. Today I was thinking that I never want to hear the word lifestyle again and someone should coin the phrase life substance. That's you my friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you my friend. xoxo
DeleteWebb is right-this does need talking about.For myself, HRT is not an option (rather a lot of cancer in the family) so I just have to tough it out.14 years and counting.I've learned (sometimes I slip!) to sleep when the body says sleep.I don't rush.Oh, and you might not like this -my chilli tolerance has dropped waaaay down!The other mean, unfair thing is that in my genetic mix is a nasty little bugger that turns lettuce into fat! I should have shares in KY jelly!
ReplyDeleteOMG now there's a chance we have to give up spicy? Does this never end?
Delete14 years and still sane. You are a hero in my eyes. And yeah, that weight gain thing...
Oh, I haven't given up spicy!Still love curries, just can't go mad on the chilli and szechuan or raw garlic.
DeleteNow I have to google ben-wah.And that sounds like a character from Arabian Nights.God! you can have fun over here!
Can't help much I'm afraid, or maybe not afraid at all actually. I went through hot flashes during the night that woke me up in a drenching sweat, luckily it was only during the night and not every night either and I've been done with those for a couple of years. That's it, everything else has remained the same. Lucky or heredity, my Mom swore she never knew what anybody was talking about. The shifting body is driving me nuts though.
ReplyDeleteWell I messed up by not having sex during these couple years of recovering from a broken heart. Apparently you need to use it or lose it.
DeleteNow they tell me!
Jane, you are a trail blazer. And Ladies, you're the best!
ReplyDeleteWhere no woman dared to tread?? And they are indeed the best.
DeleteTwenty years post menopausal and the sex is great, I've never had a problem.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very lucky and I'm assuming "active" woman:-))
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ReplyDeleteSuch an interesting topic this evening.....I've had the blahs all day so this is going to make for good reading. :) Unfortunately I'm not pre or post anything yet. I say unfortunately because I think I would happily trade the crazies and night sweats to the unbearable cramps that kick my butt every month!! still kicking my butt after 30 years. I haven't noticed any changes in the sex dept. but a friend of mine says she and her husband have completely stopped because it became too painful. Completely stopped at 46...I can't imagine! :)
ReplyDeleteCan you go back to every other night? I
Oh I had forgotten about cramps and the lovely bloating....the best part of menopause is of course no more period.
DeleteHate to hear about your friend. Has she consulted her doctor? 46 is way Too young to give up her sex life. She should have years of pleasure ahead. And yeah, I can go back to every other night until I see my OB in May. Then we'll see....for today I just want my Ulithi of life back.
Oh dear, for me it was bliss when it stopped.
ReplyDeleteHeredity is a fickle goddess;). Was late to start all this, and never minded it, was late to end it, and haven't minded too badly either. That doesn't prevent me from having sympathy for others!
ReplyDeleteI should say, to be honest, it should not. I can be dismissive sometimes, in my heart, and I will try to do better.
DeleteWas hoping to hear from you, I had been thinking about the women I have "met" thru blogging who have remarried. And how it was going sexually.
DeleteYes, genetics a huge asset. And apparently staying sexually active is a must.
Why didn't someone tell me this two years ago? Arrgggg.
Until this happened to me I was sympathetic but now that I have walked a mile in anothers' shoes, as they say, I'm in the fight.
It really is a case of "use it or lose", as with many things.Can I just say (although everyone here seems to be pretty capable!) if you're finding sex has become a "dry argument" try lubricant.And remember, it's not just a girl thing. The men can find slowing down difficult.Sort of like stopping at a red light and then, when it'
Deletes green, the car wont start! You can have rather a lot of fun finding out what works for both of you.
Blimey, Jane, your blog! Cats, food, gardening, flowers, friendships, sex - all life is here......
ReplyDeleteI know, evolution is a wild ride! You were also on my mind as I wrote this....
DeleteWow! This post got a lot of comments-
ReplyDeleteChemotherapy at 42 blasted me through menopause so fast I didn't notice! And then...tried to resume life, sex- I could'nt even be examined! Doctor ( male ) gave me the use it or loose it line. IT was already gone so I lost HIM and found a PT specializing in pelvic floor health. She said a jr. Tampon would'nt fit- so we started with dialators... First one was the diameter of a
Pencil- it took a while but we worked our way up- she was amazing, and kind. Help is out there but not in a regular doctor's office. My PT also reccomends a lubricant- I will be back with the name of that! Perservere ladies!!! I am now 63 :-)
This has just put the biggest smile on my face! 21 years cancer free?!
DeleteAnd sexually active?
I'm back in PT for my migraines , might have to ask my trainer today if she has ever heard of a specialist in our area.
And waiting anxiously for name of lubricant.
Alright, I am back! The lubricant is called YES. And yes, I am serious! It is an organic product manufactured in England. It is also approved by the Vegetarian Society! So, here is the scoop: It comes in a water based and an oil based, www.YesYesYes.org
ReplyDeleteThank you for your smile about the 21 years! 17 out of 24 lymphnodespositiveIamreadyto killyoucancer. Enough to take out every Junior League Member in the world cancer. I fought hard for two long years. Giving up the remaining healthy breast and having reconstructive surgery after the fight was no picnic either, but here I am and I have never even had a scare.
And I get to look into three pairs of shining eyes belonging to my grandchildren.
My PT treats pretty much only breast cancer patients and the lovely pelvic floor PT was in this teeny mostly women only practice. Sadly, at 78, last year she retired. She also did craniosacral therapy so it was kind of like a "two for". When I see my PT this week I can ask her about that particular therapy and how to find a therapist. I am in Annapolis...nice place to visit! I will report back.
Hey keep posting such good and meaningful articles.
ReplyDeleteGreat article, Thanks for your great information, the content is quiet interesting. I will be waiting for your next post.
ReplyDelete